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Sr. Pastor’s Corner
Dr. Ivory L. Varner
President, ONEPowerfulMovement, Inc.
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First Lady’s Corner
Mary Polk Varner
President, Vika Ministries
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1. Pastor, do you think I am wrong for advising my son not to give up on his wife. My son found out that she was having internet sex and he is hurting?
Please tell him, being hurt is not an excuse for giving up on your wife. She is his covenantal wife. This means she and he are in a covenant before God that is not easily broken.
If I was advising your son, I would share with him that marriage has a bigger scope than just being happy. Marriage between one man and one woman is to bring God glory. Mark 10:4-9 4 And they said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." 5 But Jesus said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 "But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. 7 "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, 8 and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
Within mankind, there has always been the desire to hurt someone when you have been hurt. However, a mature believer in Jesus Christ will seek restoration instead of separation within the relationship. Someone may advise him that it is his right to dissolve the marriage because of passages like Matthew 19:9 9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." Yes, he may have the right but that would not be God's choice. God has already forgiven your son for things he has done and He will continue to do so. We are more like God in our character when we forgive.
Please share with your son that it is not over unless he says it is over. God does not want it to be over. So let me share with you the steps to restoration. First, confront the offender, then forgive. So he needs to confront the situation with the idea that God wants this relationship to stay together and get stronger. He must understand that if she confesses the sin, then it is his responsbility to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. To forgive is a promise he will give to her that he has removed all of the blame, and that he will not seek revenge or retaliation. Luke 17:3-5 3 "Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 "And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him." 5 ¶ And the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" Matthew 6:11-15 11 'Give us this day our daily bread. 12 'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.' 14 "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
He must understand that no one wakes up and says that they are going to have an affair today. There had to have been a break down in the relationship long before the affair. Ask your son if he is willing to get counseling. I know where he can get biblical counseling and it will not cost him one dime.
Published on Wednesday, August 11, 2010 @ 2:31 PM CDT