3. Pastor, God never said to obey in marriage, then why is it in the wedding vows?

The Bible is written by God.  Wedding vows are of course written by men and are influenced by their interpretation of what they think God meant by what He said in the Bible.  Wedding vows with the word “obey” in them, may be a misintepretation of the Biblical principal, “be in subjection” or “subject your self under your husband”.  The word hupotasso does not mean obey, it means "rank yourself under".  The word is a military word which means to line up under.

 ^NAS Colossians 3:18 ¶ Wives, be subject (Hupotasso) to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

 ^NAS Colossians 3:20 Children, be obedient (Hupakouete) to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

 ^NAS Colossians 3:22 Slaves, in all things obey (Hupakouete) those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.

 When it comes to wedding vows, the wife is told to be subject to your own husband.  When it comes to slaves and Children, the word means to to obey for example  "obey your father and mother, and slave obey your master."